I need to stop cutting…I am so terribly self conscious about my scars… I do whatever I can to hide them. That’s why I usually cut on my thighs…but in my last couple moments of weakness the urge came far too fast for me to even think a little bit about the “best way” to do it. If there is one that is. I suppose cutting was better than jumping off the parking deck I was sitting on top of though… The parking deck is my happy place. I go there to sit, people-watch, and dream…. But now I have contaminated it with my stupidity. *sigh* Sometimes, I just wish I could curl up and die…. But other times I realize, that’s not really what I want; I just want to be happy. Not just in-the-moment-happy though… Really and truly 100% happy… No sadness, depression, hurt, or fear. Just that innocent happiness one has as a child. The whole life is good mindset. That is what I want.
How can I get that back?
Help me.
Dearest Misery, just fuck off…
