Well, here it goes… I’ve never done much with the blogging thing or social media or whatever… But I’ve been struggling a lot lately and I was thinking that maybe this kind of thing would help. Ya know, I talk about life, my problems, etc…and complete and total strangers talk to me. I don’t have to worry about people judging me or anything, because no one knows who I really am. I could be some old lady who lives in Antarctica and eats penguins…wait, scratch that, I’m a vegetarian…and I’m sure I’ll be mentioning that at some point and then I’d be caught in a lie. I don’t like lying.
Well, as you can probably tell from the name of my blog and from my picture….I have some issues. (don’t we all?)
Just to get these out of the way, these are my diagnosed disorders:
ADD: Attention Deficit Disorder
BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder
GAD: Generalized Anxiety Disorder
MDD: Major Depressive Disorder (Clinical Depression)
PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Not too bad right? I mean, atleast I’m alive. I am on no medications for any of these..even after many psychiatrists and various doctors have pushed me to take their stupid drugs. I have seen all the stupid fucking side effects that all these government-money-makers have caused. I don’t want that. I have a hard enough time as it is. My medicine is rollerblading and chocolate…I couldn’t survive without those.
I have struggled with self-harm for almost 4 years now. I have tried to stop on many occasions. I think I am doing so great then- my best friend dies….or my (now ex) gets pissed and drives the car into a tree….or my dad loses his job…. And I start yet again. It’s a vicious cycle. Just like the vicious cycle of depression….I’m depressed so I can’t sleep much…The lack of sleep weakens my immune system…Being sick makes it harder to sleep and makes me feel even shittier…worsening my depression….and so on and so forth. So many endless cycles. That’s all life is. You wake up to go to work/school, come home, go to sleep, and do it all over again. What’s the point?
Anyways, this is me, this is my blog. Just me and my pathetic misery.
Enjoy!
